Bas aaj hi hai zindagi

Hamesha doshi main hi kyun saabit ho jaati hoon,

ki galti tumhari ho ya meri kasurvar hamesha main hi hoti hoon.

Ki pal bhar mein tumne keh diya ki tum jhel rahe ho sab,

ek baar na socha, ki prayas to maine bhi kiye h tumhe ik achhe mukaam par lane k liye.

Aaj zindagi ki in gulshan galiyo mein jaddojahad kya aai, 

tumne to keh diya bebak ki is jaddojahad ka kaaran main hoon.

Tumne keh diya ki zindagi ek seedhi patri par aane do,

tab baaki cheezon par dhyaan lagaenge,

ki kese btaun ki zindagi to kabhi patri par aati hi nhi,

ki jo pal hain, vo aaj hain, ki khushi manane ke liye bahana nhi dhoondhna hota,

ki mohobbat jatane k liye, avsar nahi dhoondhna hota.

Agar tumhe abhi se sab bojh lagne laga hai, to ye safarnama kaise tay karoge,

ki saath mein jo baat hai, vo akele mein kahaan,

agar sath mein chalna hi nhi tha, to humsafar kyun chuna.

Log kehte hain ki haqiqat mein raho, pariyo k sapno wali duniya mein nhi,

main kehti hu ki sapno ko sach karna hi to insaan ki fitrat hai.

Ek din ye pal nikal jaenge, tum yaad karoge ki vo pal the khush rehne ke,

zindagi ke ulat palat ki is adhedbun mein jo humne yoon hi zaya kar diye,

ki zindagi ka ek ek pal, ret ki tarah hai, jitna zor se pakdoge, utni tez fisalega.

Aakhir mein bas yahi kahungi, ki yaad rakhna ki uljhan k pal hamari zindagi mein bhi aae the,

par humne tumhe kinare karne ki jagah, tumhe apni shakti banaya tha...💖

What does it take?

What does it take to live life on your own terms? Who decides what you chose was a right decision or a wrong one? What concludes that your choices made you a good or bad person?

I know we can't see future and neither the results of our actions before we actually choose it. But, the dilemma continuously pulls you back and forth like a church bell ending up no where and just stuck in the middle. This state of confusion, where you don't know what is going to happen is something that eats up all your joy. Most of the people in their 25 to 30s end up being in this state. We all make some decisions that look good when we take them but slowly and gradually we can feel each and every second that something is wrong. I know this gut feeling is always right but do you trust this gut feeling so much that you make a U turn from a major shift of your life without knowing what's next or you just go straight on the path, believing things will be fine some day.

Major shifts of our life's are when we start/leave school, go for college, start up job in a new organization, leave a place that is very close to our heart, getting married, having kids, getting retirement, getting kids married, living without life partner and so on. Now think about the condition when most of these shifts happen parallelly for someone. How to deal with it that time? People say, take one problem, try to resolve it end to end and then jump on to another and things will be better. But, what if your problem is actually not dependent of your decisions but on somebody else's decisions. Now, that's when the predicament comes into picture, shall the person just be selfish and leave everything and live life as per own's wish or shall a person just go with the flow? When did self love become selfish?

Lets look at some basic decisions now, which can change your life up and down. I was having a conversation with one of my aunt today, during which she mentioned that your uncle does not have that much habit of talking, so he just comes back from work, eats dinner and then scrolls his phone, however, I feel like he should talk about his day or ask about my day. But its ok, can't do anything, its his habit. I was coerced to think today, it was a very small instance, but on a day-to-day life how many such small-small wishes don't get fulfilled just because your counter part does not even bothers to ask what makes you happy. So, the bottom line is, just because you married someone, you have to change all your life as per them and their family whether you like it or not.

This is mostly seen in relationships as well that youth fall into nowadays. When they start, they start with their best behaviors, extreme promises, spend too much time together, don't get tired of each other, cross any limits whatsoever. But, when the time passes, since they have known each other for long enough that interest is gone. They just start coming back to what they really are. The butterfly feeling starts to fade away and reality strikes hard in the face. Why? Because life is not fair, it will beat you, bring you to paramount circumstances where you want to just give up everything and close the chapter. However, that's no matter what happens, we still have to row our boat and reach the end. 

What's your thoughts on it? What does it take to live your life on your own terms?

Changing times amidst COVID-19

God has given us this second chance
To look back and glance
Analyze the life we live in
Realize it before your age gives in
Earth was not supposed to be hurt so bad
We are the reason why people are sad
We whine about everything possible
Keep a check, so you don't stumble
Live your life as it comes
Don't run behind earthy things 
As they will all succumb

Live this moment with your family
You never know when life slips suddenly
Problems will come and go
Your deeds are what this world will owe
Stop complaining about everything you come across
Pause, Check, Analyze...you are a human, not an albatross

Broken & Fixed

I wonder sometimes that in this world full of different kinds of people, I haven't met even one who is happy and contended with his/her life. Each one of us are having some or the other wish which we want but can't get. Someone correctly said that " Kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahaan nhi milta, kisi ko zameen toh kisi ko asmaan nhi milta". We are just wandering here in search of peace, love, success without realizing that days are passing and we are just running behind something which we are not even aware of, if it will bring us that satisfaction or not. All of us are broken in some or the other way  which nobody can ever understand. Since when did we start living like this, running behind worldly things. When did we make ourselves realize  that money and status are the most important things. Is this what we will be passing on to our coming generations? We are people of that century who are always confused. We do not have correct answer for anything. We are blindly running towards happiness.  Did it come to you after so much run?? Did you realize that you have missed so many days by just running; not taking a moment to thank what you already have. There is always a plenty of time for everything, all we have to do is learn to wait. Our society has made these rules which are bound by age. You have to reach a specific level in a specific age. Who decided that? Who wrote these rules which are ruling our lives? 

We have our own share of life which we can always live as we want. Nobody is allowed to tell us how to live, what to feel, what not to feel or how to move ahead? We all have our time and we will do things in our own pace. Life is not a race and we are not born to fit in everywhere. All the broken people out there always find a way to fix themselves by indulging in different activities. But do they realize that there is always a corner in their heart which is empty and you will probably never gonna be able to  lock it or fill it. We are the people who are born to make change in the world at our own individual level. We will perform at our best what we think is best for us.

We are the architect of who we are and who we will be...

Hold On to yourself: It's never that difficult!!!

You can't run away from the situations that happen in your life. Sometimes, it becomes really difficult to face what is coming towards you but you have to be strong enough to tackle it with as much calmness as possible. You always don't have an option to choose what you really want. Sometimes, you just have to go with the flow. I wonder sometimes, why do we have to go through hard circumstances; circumstances, which change you once and for all. They make you a person you never really were, neither you wanted to be that person. But may be it's important to change at times, just to make sure that you are not allowing anyone else to harm you. When you come out in this world, when you try to do things on your own, life has it's own way of teaching you things. Teaching by experiences. It allows you to get into something bad and then it just makes you learn that whatever you see, whatever you feel is not right always. Each and every experience you go through makes you stronger for sure but slowly and gradually it changes you a lot. You stop believing in people, you are always scared of some unknown that can happen to you, you just become a different personality. We have so many people in the world. Each one dealing with their own kind of difficulties; difficulties that only they can understand because they are going through it. Still somehow they manage to come out of it, that's their will power of coming out of all the odds that are thrown on their way. As a person, you only grow when you are put into situations which make you weak, helpless, lonely and vulnerable. If you are able to get out of it, you are really strong. But there are some people out there who don't even give a thought before doing just anything. They just do what makes them happy. I don't know whether it's a right thing or not because thinking about your own happiness is never wrong but does your happiness destroys another being... Is thinking about that is not worth? How does a human decide that they can change somebody's life so much that they are not able to get on it again. However, I don't blame anyone for what they do because may be they thought that it was the right thing to do in that situation. 

Talking about me, I am in a confused state right now. I don't know where I am going, what I am doing, what should I do or what I should have done. It's all a bit messed up. But, each and every passing day teaches me that whatever you are going through, you are the only person who can help yourself. You have to put yourself together, no matter what and you have to move on with whatever is left inside you. You have to be more alive than you were yesterday. Life has it's own way of giving you surprises. So, just wait for what it has to give you. But, never stop making attempts. Do what makes you feel happy. These days, I am more into sketching, blogging, learning new things, cooking,(people say I have become a really nice cook 😁), talking to people(my all time favorite activity), getting to know my flaws and exploring new places. I have a big list of what I want to do. I don't know whether they will work as I thought or not but I have to give it a try. Rest all, lets leave on life. It will take care about everything else.

To all those people who are going through something bad in their life, please be patient and cheer yourself up. There is nothing that you can't do. There is nothing that cannot be achieved by you. Try to make short goals, complete them, once you achieve them you will be confident enough to achieve what you had been dreaming of always. Remember that Life does not stops, no matter what comes and what goes. It has to go on and you have to make yourself worthy enough to have it. You have been blessed by a gift called Life. Love yourself, dream big and be strong enough to let go of things not meant for you. As I said, Life has it's own way of giving you surprises!! So, just wait for it. You never know what surprise is waiting for you next. 😊 😉😉

New Beginnings....

Change is the only constant thing in the world. I had been coming across this phrase lately but was never able to understand what it actually means. To embrace new beginning in life you have to let go off things which are not meant for you. It is all about how gracefully you let go off negative thoughts, negative people and negative energy out of your life. You have been gifted just one life and you cannot afford to waste it by being sad, by crying or by regretting things you have done or you haven't done. Whatever is done can never be reverted back but what is yet to come is in your hands. Life always gives you two options in every situation. You are the one who decides which one to choose and which one to leave.

Your life is your masterpiece and you are the one who is solely responsible for whatever happens to you.
What matters is that no matter what... you have to move on, you have to survive and you have to embrace every change that comes in your way. Every option that we choose gives us an experience which is worth. 

With every new day, I am learning new things and I am happy about it. I am happy about the way thinking of people in our country is changing. I have got few great people in Bangalore and I am thankful to life that I met them. I would like to mention those angels of my life here. My first friend in Bangalore, my life's first room mate. Bashobi you are a sweetheart. She has been with me in my best and worst. I can always rely on her for any advice. She is like sister from another mother. Last year was a tough and struggling phase of my life and the one person who never left my side and been always with me is her. Two very important people of my life, Uttam and Vishal have also been the best buddies. They are my colleagues and there is no gender bias between us. I can go and share any problem of my life with them. They have inspired me and been with me in my tough times. I have never felt them judging me in any situation. Rather than judging, they have always listened to me and tried to understand my point of view. We have met each other in adult age but it seems we are childhood friends. Life seems easy when they are around. Specially Uttam...if you are reading this.. I would like to thank you for everything. For guiding me and being a great mentor, for being my best friend, for being the person who never leaves my side no matter what the situation is. Then comes my roomie Bhargavi. Darling, you are very special and trust me on this. I am lucky to have you in my life. We have lived good and bad times together. We have done stupid and crazy stuff. I am going to miss you a lot, our weekend laziness, cooking food together, caring for each other, making random plans, clicking 1000 of selfies, cleaning our messy home together, watching movies just to make fun of them, listening to old songs, our late night conversations.... there are numerous other small small moments that we have spent together. Life is changing so swiftly and unpredictably that we can never hold on to these moments forever. I am really lucky to have you guys in my life.

Growing up complicates lot of things which used to be very simple in our childhood days. When you are a child you don't need  anyone to be happy, you are just happy with yourself. However, when you grow up your happiness relies on the people you love. You don't feel good if those people move away from you even a few inches. You tend to miss them and make yourself gloomy. But growing up also allows you to have the maturity of understanding the other person. You try to understand what the other person thinks... what the other person is and you try to make them comfortable with everything possible you can do. Loving someone and feeling loved is the most beautiful feeling of the world. So all the people out there, Be yourself... spread love.. spread happiness... Keep Smiling....

Journey Begins Now...

Its been more than one year since I wrote my last blog. So accurately its been 1 year and 9 months since I came to Bangalore. Things are a little messy actually a lot messy  :D but it will be fine that I know very well. After coming to this stage of life, I have realized that you actually start to understand few things at a certain age of your whole lifespan. You cannot understand anything until and unless you go through few situations and circumstances. Life gives you a situation where you don't know where you actually are and where you will be heading towards. You have to make really tough choices that can either give you happiness or never ending sadness. Its your choice, your call to decide what you choose.  

A lot has happened since I wrote my last blog. Good to know that people actually wait for my blogs ;) .  Thanks for giving your time and sorry that I am writing it after almost 1.5 years.  

What do you think learning is?  This word learning for me was just a synonym for reading something and then remembering it.  But no.... it's more deep than that.  Learning is an experience.  You go through lot of things in your life. But you can learn things only after you experience them.  

I have come across numerous people in past 1.5 years.  Some came and went back while some others stayed back and left an unforgettable imprint of their care and affection in my life. I would like to mention those people who are responsible for changing the way I looked at life. Gaurav,  my technical trainer and India SME  in IBM.  He is a great guy with loads of knowledge.  During training period we never found him behave like a trainer.  He was always a friend to us.  His friendly nature and the way he teaches it's just remarkable.  We had lot of fun while learning the technology.  He had been with me through my tough times.  Whenever I needed him,  he was always there no matter what. He has a special place in my life where I compare him as my 'Guru'  and I always dedicate him that whatever I am today it's just because of his teachings.  He is very spiritual in nature, believes a lot in God. There were times when I did not knew which way to choose, those were the times he was there to guide me.  He says I am a gem to him :). Well the truth is I am lucky to have a guide in my life. Second personality whom I would like to mention is Uttam, my team lead.  One of the best guys I have ever met.  I have never seen this level of understanding in a guy ever before. He has been a best friend in the times of need, been a good lead when it comes to work,  been a good teacher when it comes to learning from him.  We generally call him a perfect package. ;)  What I see common in both Gaurav and Uttam is that mkt they both are so down to earth that we never felt like we are talking to SMEs or leads. Third personality is a cute one :)  Vishal...  My colleague. I have given him KT when he came new to IBM, that's why he always seems like a kid to me :D.  He is having an art of bringing smile to anybody's face no matter how worst somebody's mood is. 

Life is fine... The only thing that I can feel is the change in myself.  It's for good and I am happy for that.  When you experience things in your life,  you get to know that things that we see around are not always true and what we don't want to see is not always false.  There lies a middle layer that you can only feel when you go through it.  

Never ever thought that I will be in such a position ever in my life.  But trust me, it has made me believe that whatever happens... Happens for a reason.  There is somebody sitting somewhere who is taking care of everything in this world and he has plans for us which we can't understand right now may be but in long run we will be able to realise that it was actually planned and was for good. I have taken a big decision in my life and i don't know how it would end up in future.  But let's see what happens :) 

Today is life....

As the time passes we tend to forget that Today is more important than Tomorrow. Life is a rush, nobody has time for nobody. In these busy days people have forgot to live their life Today. I was also among such people few days back but I realized the essence of living life. Coming to Bangalore has made a drastic change in my life and that too positive one. Each and every day is great here. Don't know how but somehow it was clear to me that I am changing, I am trying to identify the real Me. 

In this one month only, I have met lot of people, communicated with them, tried to understand their perspective and lot of other things and realized that I was far away from the world for so many days. I like this change. :)

I always used to think that this is not the correct time to do anything but now I think for everything this is the correct time, the time when you want to do it , the time when you are happy to do it. I met with people like Kebir Swaminathan Iyer, Nancy James and Gaurav Mathur, who to a lot of extent changed the way of my thinking. Life is very short to do anything or to understand anything. Ages go on and you are sometimes not able to understand a person. Sometimes communication becomes so difficult that you fear to face the consequences of saying what your heart says to you. 

Life has become so busy that everyone is involved in one's own Cabin. After so many experiences that I have got since 1 year I learnt that real happiness is not in running behind wealth or luxury or worldly assets, rather happiness is in talking to a dear friend who has a special place in your heart, watching a baby who smiles and cries for small reasons, the innocence, the nature, care of parents, love of your friends and smile on someone's face. All these things can bring much more happiness to you than any other worldly thing. The inner joy can only be achieved if you really are able to make yourself happy for No reason.

Problems are never going to end. They are a part of your life, if they are not there you would not be able to grasp the happiness so happily when it comes to you. Whatever you want to do, do with all your heart and mind. Opportunities are never ready to knock on your door. You are the one who is going to build a door where opportunity can knock.Identifying your ability, knowing it and then actually working on it is not a cup of tea for everyone, its really a tough task. Very few people can actually do it and who does it can see what positive results it has for their life. 

'Quitting is an option, but sustaining is always a choice'- This line said to me by Kebir has insisted me think on it and really it has a deep meaning. It seems as if every day we are here to learn something to understand something. it only needs one thing-" To stay calm" because 'You can never see deep through disturbed water'. So you need to be calm to go till depth. You need to be very happy to enjoy each second.

At last I just want to say, keep smiling friends, life is ready to give a lot of experiences whether happy or sad just except them and move ahead with a positive curve on your face and live to a brim.

Life is a Teacher: Full of Struggle but U have to Keep Smiling :)

It's been a long time since I have wrote anything. First of all wish all of u a very Happy Laughter Day.... :)

Someone once told me that Life is the greatest teacher who can teach you everything and really its a true saying. Life can teach you anything and everything which you are not gonna learn from your school, college, teachers or friends. I had understood the fact and tried to change myself a lot and to a great extent I had been successful in adapting myself to the worst situations and remaining happy no matter what the situation is.

March was the worst month I had ever seen but thanks to Nammo and Oju who tried to make me understand and taught me as if i am a 5 year old child and literally i was feeling that time as if I am a child and two elder sisters of mine are scolding me and then loving me. Special thanks to Oju, you really made my day and i still remember your preaching that:

  "No one has perfect life which begins with

 "Once upon a time" and ends with "Happily ever after".

   Life begins with "Welcome to the struggle"

   and ends with "You are lucky to have survived the journey"

   If you wait for happy moments, you will wait forever.

   But if u start believing that you are happy, you will be Happy Forever"

I cherished the time spent with you and "Main tera Hero" was awesome... ;) LOL

Nammo, I am angry with you. How can you forget my birthday and till now you don't even know that you had forgot that. Just give me a call, now its my turn to scold you....:D and don't dare to make any excuses that I was busy or something like that. 

Well today is laughter day...the day to be happy, to keep smiling, to laugh actually. So friends laugh and laugh till your stomach aches.... :D 

                                                      

"Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. "

So keep it safe as it is a treasure of the life.

Be happy...... keep calm...... I know the world is not full of good people around you but our thoughts and feelings can so easily be influenced by how we perceive others. If we make a firm choice to always keep a positive vision of those around us, then we will enjoy better relationships.

A hater's job is to find all of your flaws, then throw them in your face every day. Your job is to love yourself and keep smiling.

In these few days where I was kind of underground I had learnt a lot of things by myself, with the help of some good friends and relatives around me. I have taken the negative comments on me in a positive way, kept myself calm and quiet and tried to handle every situation by myself . Just one more thing that I need to develop in me is not to cry for everything. I learnt that "Giving up is easy. Facing the truth is hard and doing what you really want is important rather than what others say. Just because you fail once, it doesn't mean you’re going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always believe in yourself because if you don’t, then who will? So keep your head high, keep  your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about."

Just waiting for my day to come... :)

Missing Nammo, Oju, Tripta, Prachi ....... Hope we will meet soon and cherish the past moments when we used to spend all day together and having lot of fun. 

At last I would just say 

Just keep smiling and pretending you're happy, 

and then maybe after you've convinced everyone else that you are, you can convince yourself.

                                                              

                                                                    Happy Laughter Day!!!!

Nothing is Alright

Sometimes life seems so unpredictable that you really cant even imagine if whatever is happening is real.... Same is the case with me nowadays... I am not saying m not happy but these days nothing is "Really Good". Don't know why someone cant understand me. Its just like being all alone and trying to manipulate oneself that Everything is alright or going to be alright. But the question is "When?" a big question "But When?"....and the answer to this is simply "I don't know" ..."A BIG NO"....
   I know this is just the starting...Everyone faces problems m not an exception but i really am an exception nowadays.....Missing all my buddies...my dear friends....my social network....and the most "My Skills"... All these are now just alien to me...It has been nearly 8 months..everything is changed since then...lot of things...I really don't know how I got this patience and from where but m really a little bit "unstable electron" who cant sit idle....but m not really idle....in fact m much more surrounded by "THINGS".... things like preparation, study, job, thoughts, career, family, future and bla bla bla....Lost so many things since then...
Just need a lot of determination so that I can prove myself to ME.
Situations are getting worse not that worse but worse at my level. I know there are so many people around having lot more problems than I have. But I did not had anyone to tell my "Thoughts"... so I just started writing...I really don't know What m writing or why m writing but still m writing...just to diverge my mind so that I can use it in right direction in an efficient way rather than thinking about something which doesn't have any real FORM. I just want to tell all those people who are really close to me that I am really missing them. M missing Prakash's Smile, Nammo's Mummi wala love, Oju's suggestions, Ashu's Confidence in me, Surbhi's Professional Cooperation, Srayosi's Wishes, Mukesh's Idiotic jokes.... These are those people who have been with me in every situation of my life n I would really like to thank all of them to make me feel special and to push me forward whenever I get disheartened. 
Its a really tough time for me and m sure that I will get over this very soon. M just trying to be happy....coz u cant do anything if u r not happy...well I used to be a very happy n jolly person 2 years back...m trying get that personality of mine back. She was a person who was full of life and m really trying hard to get that. I have a strong belief that "Man k haare haar hai man k jeete jeet".....and there are some things for which i regret...“I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.” 
College life is over and i really did not enjoyed it but its my dream to be with all of my dear friends just one day....and enjoying every second of it.

After writing all these thoughts of mine which really are so stupid to read I came to the conclusion that "Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude"

So keep smiling all of u and be happy.... :)