What does it take?

What does it take to live life on your own terms? Who decides what you chose was a right decision or a wrong one? What concludes that your choices made you a good or bad person?

I know we can't see future and neither the results of our actions before we actually choose it. But, the dilemma continuously pulls you back and forth like a church bell ending up no where and just stuck in the middle. This state of confusion, where you don't know what is going to happen is something that eats up all your joy. Most of the people in their 25 to 30s end up being in this state. We all make some decisions that look good when we take them but slowly and gradually we can feel each and every second that something is wrong. I know this gut feeling is always right but do you trust this gut feeling so much that you make a U turn from a major shift of your life without knowing what's next or you just go straight on the path, believing things will be fine some day.

Major shifts of our life's are when we start/leave school, go for college, start up job in a new organization, leave a place that is very close to our heart, getting married, having kids, getting retirement, getting kids married, living without life partner and so on. Now think about the condition when most of these shifts happen parallelly for someone. How to deal with it that time? People say, take one problem, try to resolve it end to end and then jump on to another and things will be better. But, what if your problem is actually not dependent of your decisions but on somebody else's decisions. Now, that's when the predicament comes into picture, shall the person just be selfish and leave everything and live life as per own's wish or shall a person just go with the flow? When did self love become selfish?

Lets look at some basic decisions now, which can change your life up and down. I was having a conversation with one of my aunt today, during which she mentioned that your uncle does not have that much habit of talking, so he just comes back from work, eats dinner and then scrolls his phone, however, I feel like he should talk about his day or ask about my day. But its ok, can't do anything, its his habit. I was coerced to think today, it was a very small instance, but on a day-to-day life how many such small-small wishes don't get fulfilled just because your counter part does not even bothers to ask what makes you happy. So, the bottom line is, just because you married someone, you have to change all your life as per them and their family whether you like it or not.

This is mostly seen in relationships as well that youth fall into nowadays. When they start, they start with their best behaviors, extreme promises, spend too much time together, don't get tired of each other, cross any limits whatsoever. But, when the time passes, since they have known each other for long enough that interest is gone. They just start coming back to what they really are. The butterfly feeling starts to fade away and reality strikes hard in the face. Why? Because life is not fair, it will beat you, bring you to paramount circumstances where you want to just give up everything and close the chapter. However, that's no matter what happens, we still have to row our boat and reach the end. 

What's your thoughts on it? What does it take to live your life on your own terms?